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Associated Press Warns That Trebuchets Are Exempt From U.S. Gun Laws

Uncultured Philistine Declines To Have Ice Cream Served In Waffle Cone

Kids Excited To Learn Of Cool Alternative To Vaping Called ‘Smoking Cigarettes’

Millennial Figures Out How To Use ‘6-7,’ Signaling The End Of The Fad

Nation Just Realized Chelsea Handler Has Been Trying To Be Funny This Whole Time

Lakewood Church To Be Renamed ‘DraftKings Arena’ Following Branding Deal

Disney Purchases Rights To ‘Robot Jox’ Franchise In Blockbuster $7 Billion Deal

Man Just 17 Home Depot Trips Away From Purchasing Correct Light Bulbs

‘The New York Times’ Updates Slogan To ‘All The News That’s Fit To Print Plus Any Rumor No Matter How Implausible’

Hockey Ticket Holders Issued Refund After No Fights Break Out

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