Insisting they were serious this time as they addressed all 340 million Americans, officials with the U.S. Department of Education sternly announced Thursday that they were counting to three. “All right, we’re not playing around here, guys—you do not want to see what happens when we get to three,” department spokesperson Ella Reiss said during a press conference, rapidly switching the lights on and off in the briefing room and then snapping several times to get the country’s full attention.
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