George Floyd Celebrates Six Years of Sobriety

George Floyd Celebrates Six Years of Sobriety

MINNEAPOLIS— George Floyd, who has been deceased since May 25, 2020, quietly observed the fifth anniversary of his sobriety on Monday, sources confirmed.

According to a statement released by his estate, Floyd spent the milestone “reflecting on his journey” in a low-key gathering attended by immediate family, close friends, and several members of the Congressional Black Caucus who appeared unsure whether to remove their shoes upon arrival.

“He’s been clean for six full years now,” said a representative for the Floyd family, speaking from a podium positioned near the exact spot where Floyd last interacted with law enforcement. “No substances, no relapses. Complete and total sobriety. We’re all very proud.”

Local officials praised the achievement.

Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey issued a proclamation declaring May 25 “George Floyd Sobriety Awareness Day,” noting that the city’s homicide rate had shown only “modest correlation” with the observance.

A small memorial garden featuring a bronze plaque and several wilted tulips served as the venue for the celebration, where attendees sipped sparkling water and listened to a brief audio recording of Floyd saying “I can’t breathe” looped ironically over gentle jazz.

Floyd’s former attorney, who has continued representing him posthumously in various civil matters, described the deceased man’s commitment to recovery as “unparalleled.”

“George made a decision in 2020 to leave his old life behind,” the attorney said. “And he hasn’t touched a thing since. Not one pill, not one drink. That kind of discipline is rare.”

Critics attempting to point out that Floyd is, in fact, dead were quickly labeled insensitive and directed toward counseling resources.

Several journalists who asked follow-up questions about respiration or current vital signs were placed on a list of problematic reporters by local advocacy groups.

At press time, Floyd was said to be “resting comfortably,” with plans to mark ten years of sobriety in 2030 pending continued good behavior and favorable court rulings on estate-related litigation.

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