CHICAGO — The Barack Obama Presidential Center opened to the public this week as the nation’s first fully operational vertical landfill, a state-of-the-art, 225-foot-tall waste consolidation facility elegantly clad in…
California has introduced an official LGBT Business Enterprise certificate, which comes with all sorts of cool tax breaks if you’re a certified gay. Sounds great, right? However, the state is…
NASHVILLE, TN — While commemorating the film’s 20th anniversary, former Vice President Al Gore explained that while An Inconvenient Truth did not prove to be accurate, it did make him…
HOUSTON, TX — News broke this afternoon that Pastor Joel Osteen kicked congregant Jeff Janovec off the church softball team after Janovec reportedly wrote a Bible verse on his Lakewood…
DAYTON, OH — Local man Troy Greer announced that after a long, intense round of negotiations with his wife, he had emerged victorious and had successfully negotiated her down to…
ROCKPORT, TX — Local man Jake Minter confirmed that he had now entered his 10th consecutive year of replying to every single text with only a single thumbs-up emoji.
WORLD — Global leaders rushed to sign up for Trump’s incredible offer to have the U.S. bomb their country for a few weeks and then give them $300 billion.
CANAAN — The young son of a prominent family remained optimistic that he would someday have a dream that doesn’t make everyone in his life want to kill him.
TEHRAN — The leadership of the Islamic Republic of Iran was reportedly overjoyed to learn they had won a grand total of $300 billion for coming second place in the…
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — With California adopting a new system to check if LGBTQ+ labeled businesses are really gay, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz showed up uninvited at the offices of…