Pentagon To Rename Fort Bragg As Fort Death To America
FAYETTEVILLE, NC — In a move intended to give the historic military base a moniker more in line with its recent contributions to the country, the Pentagon announced today that…
FAYETTEVILLE, NC — In a move intended to give the historic military base a moniker more in line with its recent contributions to the country, the Pentagon announced today that…
Asserting that such uncouth behavior brings shame upon the glorious lineage of a court that can be traced back 12 generations, a breaking report released Friday stated that you forget…
FORKSVILLE, PA — As part of a new hardline stance being taken to start the new year, a local Presbyterian church announced that starting this Sunday, tasers will be used…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A Federal Bureau of Investigation spokesperson announced Friday that the bureau had turned itself in for the planting of pipe bomb explosives outside the U.S. Capitol Building…
In an effort to avoid arousing any suspicion, drunk driver Jeff Macklin reportedly assured himself while speeding away in a stolen police car Monday that he would be totally fine…
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Looking for authentic sushi at a reasonable price? Look elsewhere. Bushido Sushi may look the part, but be warned: it’s run by a white dude.
A study published in the British Journal Of Sports Medicine found that short bursts of movement throughout the day, no matter how small, can help the heart, especially for women. What do you think?…
U.S. — As the investigations continued into the deadly events of the new year, FBI agents were reportedly baffled that terrorist attacks could even occur as they had already imprisoned…
The start of the new year is traditionally a time when people make their resolutions to better themselves. While many New Year’s resolutions quickly fall by the wayside, there are…
This Week’s Onion Magazine: ‘Cultivate A Growth Mindset’ And 40 Other Phrases That Give Sad Sacks Like You False Hope