U.S. — In an effort to address recent violence, the United States Army has decided to begin asking applicants if they plan to carry out a massive terrorist attack.
U.K. — England is safe once again after Metropolitan police caught and jailed a man who made memes that offended child rapists.
TUSTIN, CA — A previously lost episode of the beloved children’s classic VeggieTales has surfaced that depicts a young Dave, portrayed by Junior Asparagus, chopping off 200 pickle tips and…
FLINT, MI — Local man Keith Peters was sentenced today to six years in prison for failing to properly use a stud finder by first pointing it at himself and…
FAYETTEVILLE, NC — In a move intended to give the historic military base a moniker more in line with its recent contributions to the country, the Pentagon announced today that…
Asserting that such uncouth behavior brings shame upon the glorious lineage of a court that can be traced back 12 generations, a breaking report released Friday stated that you forget…
FORKSVILLE, PA — As part of a new hardline stance being taken to start the new year, a local Presbyterian church announced that starting this Sunday, tasers will be used…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A Federal Bureau of Investigation spokesperson announced Friday that the bureau had turned itself in for the planting of pipe bomb explosives outside the U.S. Capitol Building…
In an effort to avoid arousing any suspicion, drunk driver Jeff Macklin reportedly assured himself while speeding away in a stolen police car Monday that he would be totally fine…