LINCOLN, NE — Local mom Clara Gibbons expressed dismay upon discovering that her children had once again eaten all the groceries that were in the trunk of the family’s vehicle…
DANIA BEACH, FL — Spirit Airlines unveiled a new all-duct tape aircraft that is expected to increase the company’s profit margins at the expense of customer safety in an effort…
HADES — Demons happily welcomed 27-year-old Jim Carole to Hell on Tuesday after he was immediately condemned to eternal damnation for texting “LOL” to a close friend when he didn’t…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With Americans pressing their senators and representatives to take action to secure elections, Senate Majority Leader John Thune vowed to bring the SAVE Act up for a…
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Just in time for St. Patrick’s Day, San Francisco officials spared no expense in dyeing all the poop on the city’s sidewalks green.
TEHRAN — At President Donald Trump’s direction, the U.S. military successfully took out Iran’s new gay supreme leader by luring him out of his bunker with a cardboard cutout of…
In a groundbreaking development hailed by progressive climate advocates, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) today issued a statement congratulating the Republic of Cuba on finally achieving true Net Zero emissions following…
In a stunning display of Senate leadership, Majority Leader John Thune (R-S.D.) has announced plans to single-handedly filibuster his own motion to bring the Safeguard American Voter Eligibility (SAVE) America…
In addition to reports that he was seriously injured in airstrikes at the onset of the U.S.-Iran conflict, new rumors arose this week that the newly chosen Supreme Leader, Mojtaba…
LOS ANGELES, CA — Actor Pedro Pascal received a notable honor the day following the Oscars, as he was officially named this year’s Best Dressed Woman at the Academy Awards,…