SPRINGFIELD, IL — Local parents Mark and Jenna Wilkins spent the day eagerly waiting to find out what grade they received on their daughter Addison’s third-grade science project.
NEW YORK, NY — The fashion world was in turmoil this morning after it was revealed that a hobo with a garbage can stuck on his head who wandered onto…
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Reports today indicated that a lousy, no good excuse for a Bluesky user has not even made one single attempt to assassinate President Donald Trump.
PORTLAND, OR — After losing his coding job to artificial intelligence, local man Roger Garrison was told by political pundits that he should instead learn to mine coal.
U.S. — Fans of the hit faith-based series The Chosen were left reeling this week after showrunners were accused of “blatantly jumping the shark” by planning to kill off the…
PENSACOLA, FL — Local man Steve Jacobs reported receiving a hospital bill this week that contained nothing but a photo of a sad-faced Mr. Monopoly with his pockets turned out.
U.S. — In an explosive interview conducted by The New York Times, media personality Tucker Carlson denied ever hearing of this Tucker Carlson fellow.
BOUNTIFUL, UT — Local mother Sarah Jenkins was reportedly attempting to explain the difference between a numerator and a denominator to her fourth grader on Monday morning when she inadvertently…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senator Elizabeth Warren was seen riding into town Monday morning bearing the scalp of her defeated enemy, Spirit Airlines.
LOS ANGELES, CA — New data from relationship experts says an engagement ring should cost at least two full tanks of gas, information that many believe will make it difficult…