SACRAMENTO — Governor Gavin Newsom announced Tuesday that his administration is exploring legal avenues to confiscate Elon Musk’s full $1.1 trillion net worth, declaring the funds essential to advance California’s High-Speed Rail project by another zero-point-zero miles.
“We cannot allow one man to hoard that kind of wealth while our high-speed rail vision sits idle,” Newsom said at a press conference held on the grounds of the latest rail project groundbreaking ceremony, which marked the 17th ceremonial start with no new track laid.
“This money will be redirected toward critical infrastructure that Californians deserve — specifically, continued environmental studies, union consultations, and additional right-of-way acquisitions that produce exactly zero miles of operational rail.”
The California High-Speed Rail Authority has spent approximately $11 billion to date while completing roughly 0.0 miles of usable high-speed track between its original endpoints of San Francisco and Los Angeles.
Officials describe the project as “on budget and ahead of a revised schedule to be determined later.”
Transportation Secretary Sean McGarvey praised the governor’s proposal.
“Mr. Musk has plenty of money and several functional transportation companies. California has a half-built overpass in Fresno and some very nice PowerPoint presentations. The math is clear.”
Newsom further argued that the rail project has already generated enormous economic benefits.
“People focus too much on trains,” he said. “This project was never really about transportation. It’s about creating a sustainable ecosystem of consultants, planners, attorneys, compliance officers, environmental reviewers, and community engagement specialists. In many ways, the journey is the destination.”
When asked whether seizing the fortune of a private citizen who does not reside in California raised any constitutional concerns, Newsom’s legal team responded that the matter falls under “climate emergency authority” and “vibes-based eminent domain.”
State officials also unveiled a preliminary spending outline showing how the funds would be allocated. Roughly $300 billion would be devoted to stakeholder outreach, $200 billion to environmental impact mitigation, $150 billion to equity-centered corridor studies, and $400 billion to addressing unforeseen cost overruns generated by the first three categories.
The remaining funds would be reserved for a commemorative visitor center explaining why no trains are currently operating.
Musk, reached via text message while reportedly overseeing multiple orbital launches, replied: “They can have the $1.1 trillion as soon as they finish even one mile of track. I’ll wait.”
At press time, the High-Speed Rail Authority had announced a new $4.2 billion contract to study the feasibility of studying previous feasibility studies, with construction on the next 0.0 miles expected to begin sometime after the 2038 projected completion date is further extended.
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