Believe it or not, we are now a decade removed from the summer of 2016.
If you’re a liberal, you’re probably used to thinking back to these halcyon days, when everyone was talking about Pokémon Go and a Hillary Clinton victory was in the bag. If you’re reading this site, you’ve probably moved on — and rightly so.
But anniversaries warrant nostalgia, this one in particular. Because even if you cheered Donald Trump’s victory, you can’t deny that the home stretch of the 2016 presidential campaign was wild.
It’s okay if you forgot — a lot has happened since. So here, in no particular order, are the seven craziest moments from the 2016 presidential campaign.
“What Is Aleppo?”
Former New Mexico Governor Gary Johnson never really had a chance at the White House. But there was a brief moment where many fooled themselves into believing Americans might elect the good-natured Libertarian Party nominee.
That changed in the early hours of September 8, 2016, when “Morning Joe” panelist Mike Barnicle asked Johnson what he would do about Aleppo, the destroyed Syrian city that became an epicenter of the migration crisis during that country’s civil war in the 2010s.
“And what is Aleppo?” a visibly perplexed Johnson asked.
“You’re kidding,” the equally shocked MSNBC host replied.
Upon being told what Aleppo was, Johnson confidently offered his solution — work with Russia to sort things out. It really was a different time.
The Libertarian Debate
Speaking of libertarians, they really had a moment in 2016. They had a number of debates, including two at their nominating convention. There, things got … interesting.
The question from the audience: should you need a license to drive a car? The response from the candidates: absolutely deranged.
“Hell no!” shouts one. “What’s next, requiring a license to make toast in your own damn toaster?!” roared another, in the midst of what appears to be some kind of rheumatic fit.
Only Johnson had the gall to defend drivers’ licenses, a sin for which he was roundly booed by the presumably unwashed crowd.
Carly Fiorina Singing
Ted Cruz, in a last-ditch effort to save his campaign, announced to the world that, if elected, he would tap former HP executive and Republican presidential hopeful Carly Fiorina as his running mate.
It was a real Hail Mary, likely doomed to fail. But what little chance the gambit had of succeeding died moments after it was announced, murdered by Fiorina’s decision to sing at the rally.
I’m not kidding when I say I remember exactly where I was when I saw this clip for the first time, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it for a decade. I still don’t know what to make of it, or how to describe it. Please, just watch the clip. Join me.
Jeb Bush’s $75 Guacamole Bowl
There are three defining moments of Jeb Bush’s campaign: the Jeb! signs, the original Trump nickname (“low energy Jeb”) and the infamous clip of Bush asking a crowd to “please clap,” an unanswered plea that seemed to confirm Trump’s read on the former Florida governor.
Bush almost certainly wasn’t thrilled about these moments at the time, but he may be grateful that they overshadowed another swing and miss. I’m talking about the Guaca Bowl-E.
For $75, Jebutantes could purchase an unmarked stone guacamole bowl from the campaign website. That’s right — unmarked. Just a bowl.
“Jeb and Columba love whipping up guacamole on Sunday Funday,” read the description on the campaign website. “Now, you can get in on the action with this “Guaca Bowle.” Jeb’s secret guacamole recipe not included … yet.”
Please clap.
Jim Webb Killed A Guy
Remember Jim Webb? It’s okay, me neither. He was Secretary of the Navy under Ronald Reagan and Senator from Virginia before Tim Kaine. He was also, if you can believe it, a Democratic presidential candidate in 2016.
It’s a shame no one remembers his campaign, because it was honestly kind of based. He criticized Obamacare. He said “all lives matter.” And, during one of the Democratic primary debates, he casually mentioned that he killed a guy in ‘Nam.
At the end of the debate, CNN’s Anderson Cooper asked the candidates which enemies they were the most proud of making. Hillary gave an early version of her later “basket of deplorables” comment, which didn’t get much traction at the time — likely because, I cannot stress enough, Jim Webb talked about killing a guy.
“I would have to say the enemy soldier that threw the grenade that wounded me but he’s not around right now to talk to,” said Webb.
If you want to know more about the incident, you can read the short story Webb published on it in Politico. I wish I was kidding.
Martin O’Malley’s Campaign Announcement
Oh my God, he plays the guitar?! Can’t believe he didn’t get the nomination.
There’s really nothing else to say about Martin O’Malley, who dropped out after getting less than one percent of votes at the Iowa Caucus and went on to do corruption as head of the Social Security Administration under Joe Biden. He was like watered-down Howard Dean? His two biggest endorsements in 2016 were Eric Swalwell and the Dropkick Murphys? Who cares.
The Last Funny Political SNL Sketch
Let me be clear: I’m not saying this sketch is unbiased, or that it’s laugh-out-loud funny all the time. But watch this and tell me it’s not funnier than any political sketch Saturday Night Live has put out since.
It’s embarrassing for them, really, because it shows that they can make fun of their chosen candidate when they’re certain they’re going to win. Alec Baldwin’s first appearance as Trump is exaggerated, of course, but pretty funny — not moralizing, still fresh, and the bit about kissing Sean Hannity is great.
But more importantly, they make fun of Hillary! They make fun of her for being unlikable, phony, and power hungry. They make fun of her arrogance and overly-rehearsed debate performance and awkward attempts to be relatable. It’s insane that just a month after this aired, Kate McKinnon sang Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” in the show’s least funny cold open ever. It’s all been downhill from there.
BONUS: Normie Trump
To be fair, this was in 2019. But it’s so crazy it feels like it should have been from 2016.