In an appeal to pro-choice progressives protesting the detention center at the Mexican border, President Trump has renamed the US Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency (ICE) as ‘Planned Citizenship’ and the term deportation has been renamed ‘aborted immigration’.
“It’s really just in the phrasing,” spokesman Roger Federererer said. “They don’t mind killing innocent people so long as you call it reproductive health or whatever, so we renamed the whole immigration debate and expect they’ll be on board soon.”
Self-proclaimed liberals are already taking to the new name.
“I used to hate the whole deportation and immigration policy,” Franz Ferdinand said. “But now that they’re using the euphemism ‘Planned Citizenship’ it makes a lot more sense. This is about the freedom of Americans to do what they want with their body politic.”
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was a bit confused when she saw the fence in front of the facility but when she saw the friendly sign she gave it a big thumbs up, which is a sign of white supremacy.
“I mean just think about how cruel it is to bring all those unwanted undocumented immigrants into the United States where they won’t be loved or cared for. That’s why I stand with Planned Citizenship!” Ocasio-Cortez added.
Originally published July 1, 2019.
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