How Not To Get Bombed by the United States

Here are some tips for national leaders who are looking not to get bombed by the United States.

This is not entire comprehensive, but it does cover a lot of the key areas.

1. Don’t make ‘Death to America’ your slogan

2. Don’t attack the U.S. embassy in your country and take staffers as hostages.

3. Don’t truck bomb other U.S. embassies in other countries

4. Don’t repeatedly bomb U.S. military bases and facilities around the region

5. Don’t kidnap, torture to death and then videotape the murder of U.S. personnel and send the tape to the president.

6. Don’t have your proxies get into an extended shooting war with the U.S. Navy

7. Don’t bomb yet another U.S. base and kill three soldiers

8. Don’t put a reward on the heads of American soldiers

9. Don’t plot to assassinate the president of the United States and members of his staff.

10. Don’t do all this while developing nuclear weapons and ballistic missiles and chanting “Death to America”

“Why are we bombing another Middle Eastern country?” Democrats who pretend they don’t know Jeffrey Epstein was best friends with the Clintons, that ICE is deporting illegal alien criminals and that Iran is responsible for the deaths of over 1,000 Americans, including over 800 military personnel, ask.

But for any country that’s worried we’re going to bomb it next, well there’s a reason we’re bombing Iran and not India or Lichtenstein. Much like there’s a reason that Jeffrey Dahmer was beaten to death in prison. (Proposed New York Times eulogy: ‘Famous Gourmand Senselessly Beaten to Death in Recreational Men’s Facility.)

This has been nearly 50 years in coming. The only thing surprising about it is that it took this long. But in all fairness, Jimmy Carter was in bed with a Pakistani terror bank, Bill Clinton was too busy preying on women and lying about it, and the only things Barack Obama would drop on Iran were pallets of illegal cash.

Still who knew that chanting “Death to America” for two generations and killing Americans would lead to America killing you?

The Koran should really come with some kind of warning label. ‘Warning: Infidels May Fight Back.’