Home Archive Mobile RSS Text March 08, 2025 0 comments 139 notes Tags: the onion news trains ceylonsilvergirl liked this thegearchomp liked this inside-maddies-brain liked this jackolanternsummers liked this derpydoot…
“Sixty-five percent of the survey respondents stated that they would choose to live in an autocracy as long as they received free shipping, and another 55% of Americans responded that…
MONTGOMERY, AL — Authorities responded to a call at an International House of Pancakes off Atlanta Highway where witnesses said a modern-day Rosa Parks bravely took a stand by refusing…
Home Archive Mobile RSS Text March 07, 2025 0 comments 18 notes Visit The Onion Store. Tags: the onion goodlord-gimmickgotbored liked this galileogalileiarc liked this dontfollowmeman reblogged this from theonion…
“Believe me, I had to sit through a lot of board meetings to get where I am today. If you’d asked me a few years ago if I’d one day…
SPRINGFIELD, VA — According to sources, recently laid-off IRS Agent Dirk Peasley has landed on his feet with a brand-new gig as one of those Costco guys who stand at…
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POTTSTOWN, PA — A long-awaited scientific breakthrough finally took place today, as a local man successfully built a time machine just so he could go back to a time when…
PEKIN, IL — Utilizing the full breadth of his medical expertise, Dr. Paul Winthrop told his patient, 54-year-old Todd Miller, that he would be able to make a better diagnosis…
“Cheetozard,” a 3-inch Flamin’ Hot Cheeto shaped like the popular Pokémon character Charizard, has sold at auction for $87,840. What do you think? autismbedamnedmyboycanworkagrill liked this just-jokes liked this chris-in-eugene liked this…